Small penises have feelings too.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
