I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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