He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Your penis caused this!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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