well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
