I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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