An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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