Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This girl is more easily done than said...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
