This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
