I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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