No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
