The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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