Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
