she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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