How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
