i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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