its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
