I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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