We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
