I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
