dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
