I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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