I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
