Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
