spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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