A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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