Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
