I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Welp...herpes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Randomize
