in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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