How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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