I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
