it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
