Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
