Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
