Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
