I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
