just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
