I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
