My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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