D3 body, D1 cock
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
there is glitter all over my balls
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
