You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Can I color on your dick again?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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