I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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