When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
