If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
