Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
