Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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