girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
