Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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