So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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