I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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