i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
